Assignment: Before reading this essay, think about who you need to forgive, take notes, and decide to forgive them. Write Now! GO!
By Sandra Musser
The healing power of forgiveness is the key to peace, health and happiness.
So what makes forgiveness so powerful? True forgiveness releases a feeling or emotion we consider negative from our psychic through understanding. Many understand the concept of forgiveness, but don’t incorporate true forgiveness into their lives. They say the words, "I forgive you." But are quick to remind the other person of the atrocity they committed when convenient. This is not forgiveness. True forgiveness has no conditions and is complete.
"...see forgiveness as the natural reaction to distress that rests on error, and thus "calls for help." Forgiveness is the only sane response...Unjustified forgiveness is attack. And this is all the world can ever given. It pardons "sinners" sometimes, but remains aware that they have sinned. And so they do not merit the forgiveness that it gives. This is the false forgiveness which the world employs to keep the sense of sin alive...If you can see your brother merits pardon, you have learned forgiveness is your right as much as his...Forgiveness recognized as merited will heal." A Course in Miracles
Certain people deemed "unworthy" of the power of forgiveness such as murderers, rapists, ex-spouses, parents, some children, etc. are often excluded as candidates for forgiveness.
It takes great learning to realize All situations and circumstances are worthy of the power of forgiveness.
I can hear some of you now. "But they don’t deserve to be forgiven after what they did!" Atrocities large and small are calls for help and acceptance. Punishing them does not fix them! It makes them worse, which our failed criminal justice system shows!
Our present criminal justice system returns someones call for help, love, or attention, by punishing them. Instead hate, anger, distrust, and more has been reinforced, as alive and well. You can't heal a negative action with another negative action.
The only thing that heals is to allow yourself to feel the emotion or feelings fully.
Denied feelings are like hungry ghosts that are never satisfied. They keep coming back till they are accepted, truly felt, forgiven and released. Once the old charge of that emotion is exhausted the healing power of forgiveness takes it's place.
Like many of you my journey through life has been challenging. Like the stock market, I’ve gone up and down to the point where I thought I had LOST IT many times.
My son got into big trouble as a teenager. He could have been put in jail for more years than I like to imagine, because of untrue hearsay. I allowed myself to sink to the lowest of lows. I went down to the level of a bottom feeder!
This was my baby who wouldn’t hurt a fly. The way I saw it, my son had been wronged! If I had allowed myself to feel these feelings fully, ranting and raving (in private), and moving these feelings through me, something magical would have happened then.
I would have seen the beginning buds of release. The Light would have creep in and shown me the why this situation was worthy of forgiveness. It didn't take long to realize, I had anger towards my son as well, for allowing this situation to happen. It also needed to be released, not because it was wrong of me to feel this, but because I felt it.
My stomach was in knots. They matched the tight knots in my shoulder muscles and neck. I had to claw my way up inch by inch. I should have known better! I’d taken this trip downward before, when I divorced my sons father. Exhausted, and beaten, I finally picked myself up and dusted myself off. I was ready to go to work to heal this pain through the power of forgiveness.
Movement through physical workout, crying, shaking, walking, etc. helps move the emotions through you and set you up to use the healing power of forgiveness.
Suppressing these emotions does not heal them. It just sets you up for them to revisit you.
My son had to release these unfelt emotions in his life. It turned out to be a gift, because it put him on the spiritual path. He now sees the world as a spiritual ascension school. Now, I ask you...do you think he would have looked inward towards spirituality at seventeen without something traumatic happening to him? Not likely. Almost a decade later, he is still committed to his spiritual path.
So why is the power of forgiveness the key to inner peace and happiness?
When negativity from your past repeatedly comes into your thoughts...you relive the same old story over and over again, like it just happened. And, the story is always the same. Ever notice, no matter how many times it replays in your mind it’s never resolved? Hmmmmmmm...why?
Because the feels were consider unloving, bad, and were suppressed. Feel them! Let them show you what needs to be accepted and released.
The key is to look at this replaying negative video, accept that it did happen, take time to see the lesson, and release it through the healing power of forgiveness. Sounds simple doesn't it?
I know a person who is still tormented by a fleeting nasty comment from her spouse made 20 years earlier. Her spouse doesn’t even remember it. But this woman relives this pain over and over again. The same old feelings of victim-hood, anger, sorrow and pain are regurgitated and felt each time. She ends up feeling powerless and depressed.
This doesn’t have to be!
When someone "triggers" deep emotions within me, it's because I feel deep inside what they said is true! I feel guilty. Guilt doesn't help in any way. It doesn't help the other person and it certainly doesn't help you. Guilt is often followed by denial.
What happened is so painful that we deny how we feel about it or deny it even happened. We first must get past the denial and then feel the emotion that went along with that event fully. When exhausted, that's the signal it's up for healing within through the healing power of forgiveness.
When someone says something negative to me it's actually how they feel about themselves...not me! But, if I react, it is about me too. It would have no effect if I didn't emotionally take it on. This is the key to knowing if something is up for healing. If I react...it's mine.
The power of forgiveness gives you control of your life. Yes! In the process of forgiveness, you accept responsibility for your past, so you can change your future. You decide you are ready to let recurring emotional experiences go.
Ever go to a motivational seminar? You feel all pumped up while you're at it and you think this is it, I've found the key! Then a week later, you're right back where you were before. Why?
Until you heal the blocks that bind you to your old ways, you can't go forward. That's why "The Secret" hasn't worked for many people. It's not that it can't, it just can't right now. There's a gap between your Spirit and your Will. That gap has to be healed before you can easily manifest your desires.
It's the balance between your masculine and feminine sides that is needed to truly heal. The gap contains all the held emotions and feelings that were not fully felt or denied. It holds guilt and denied rage. All keeps coming up for healing till accepted, felt and released through the healing power of forgiveness.
But...it has to be unconditional forgiveness. Anything else is not forgiveness.
Let's take a look at the method I used to release childhood sexual abuse.
Seven Effective Steps to the Power of Forgiveness:
- Sit comfortably with your back straight in a quiet place with no interruptions.
- Take ten deep breathes and let them out completely so you feel a hollow in the gut. This clears the old dead air out from the bottom of your lungs and re-oxygenates your cells. It also relaxes your mind and body.
- With eyes closed, focus inward behind your eyes to that place of void for a few moments. Allow yourself to explore how this feels. Take your time.
- Now, imagine your pure perfect spirit within. Feel it’s wonderful loving power around your heart. Envelope it with your spiritual arms, hold it...feel it’s love...become one with it...nurture yourself. This is your perfect inner child, your lifeline connection with God/the creator. Become the mother or father to your inner child and reassure him or her that you're going to be there for them from now on. Tell your spirit you are going to look within for your source of true love. Take as much time as you want with this process...it's the most important step.
- When you're ready visualize the person who did you wrong walking towards you. Smile at them, and watch them approach...calmly. Why? Because you are now in control. Realize they couldn’t have done what they did to you unless they were in a place of sadness or torment themselves. A happy person wouldn’t even dream of committing such a crime. Feel compassion for them. They’re in pain. It’s a huge possibility that what they did to you, was done to them as well, which doesn’t make it right. It just helps you understand.
- Let them stand in front of you. If you choose, grasp their hands. Feel their warmth. Smile back at them. Remember, you are now the one in control. See the light the creator put into each and every person, in their eyes. Look at them and say: "I forgive you for _______. You made a mistake, and I forgive you." Keep gazing into their eyes. This person has been waiting for a long time to hear these words from you, even if only subconsciously. Then still looking at them say: "Go in peace and love." It's important that you mean it and that it's unconditional or you will not heal.
- Watch them walk away, and know that you have not only released yourself from this situation, but you have released them as well. Through their release, you are released. It was your anger towards the situation, which held you both hostage. You have taken control and changed both of your lives.
But there's another step I didn't tell you about first. When I first realized the extent of my abuse, I was angry at my parents and my grandfather. My parents because they didn't protect me. I held this anger for months. Martial arts became a part of my life, and I moved a lot of emotion through the punishing and kicking action of this martial art.
When I had exhausted my anger and pain, I was ready to heal the wound.
It made room for something new and wonderful to come into my life by creating a vacuum for Light to replace the pain. This is exactly what happened when I forgave my Grandfather for sexually abuse from the age of four.
I found happiness I didn't know was even possible.
Personal power filled me, because I no longer saw myself as a victim. I didn't even know I saw myself that way before, because I had denied my feelings and become tough instead. For the first time since the abuse, I was the one in control. I took back my power and used it to end not only my torment...but my Grandfathers as well, even though he had passed on. Now I see only the good times with my grandfather through the power of forgiveness.
Even if you didn’t have any good times with that person, see the light in them beyond their sadness. Understand, a happy person couldn’t do what they did.
I don’t even think about my former abuse now unless someone brings it up. And, even when it does come up, the pain is gone...because it's been released. It doesn't trigger me anymore. I can talk about it with no emotion. This event has become a teaching tool now on the power of forgiveness.
If you've gone through this process, and the negative feelings return, there can be only one reason. You have not fully forgiven this person. Consider trying the process again. Many have a hard time making this jump. Extra help through seminars or healing groups may be necessary to make this life changing journey. The twelve step process through AAA is powerful not only for the people in the program, but for anyone. It will be a time commitment you will never regret.
The healing power of forgiveness is more crucial now than at any other time in recorded history!
At this time the values from the present age, the Age of Pisces will be changing to the values of Aquarius. The power of forgiveness is key to making this shift to the values of the next cycle.
Our values are changing and have been for well over a hundred years. It’s not an accident we have undergone the greatest technological boom ever in the last few hundred years. We think it’s because we're so much more "advanced" than our ancestors. Think again! It’s all part of the universal plan to prepare us for the next age...the age of love.
It's not an accident the status of woman and minorities has changed dramatically in the same time period or less. To incorporate the values "love, unity and integrity," these prejudices have to go. Our values will be about working together in an equal synergistic manner that's in harmony with others and the planet.
So how do you prepare for this great cycle change? The only way is to clean your mental house. Realign your values to those of the coming Aquarian Age. Clearing what doesn’t work in your life anymore is accomplished through the power of forgiveness.
What if nothing dramatically changes around 2012?...so what!
You'll experience more inner peace, love, health and happiness in your life. These easy steps towards the power of forgiveness will help show you the way. Nothing can replace inner peace! Nothing else is more worth going after! Without it, nothing else matters!
I consciously let new relationships evolve on their own merits, without prejudging them now. The first thing I ask myself when I meet someone new is, "Why did this person come into my life?" You see...all relationships have a common thread. There’s something both parties have to learn from the other to help them both grow spiritually. Welcome these new relationships.
The negative has shaped me more than the positive experiences, because it is through them I have changed. The power of forgiveness gave me back control of my life.
Still burning brightly under the clouds of negativity is your spirit, just as God created you. It's always been there, waiting to be reunited with your Will, your intuitive, feeling side. The sooner you learn the source of your power is your Will, the happier and more fulfilled you'll be. The healing power of forgiveness is all that is needed to heal the unfelt emotions and feelings in your life so you can know this perfect spirit.
A Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay
A Course in Miracles, The Foundation for Inner Peace
A Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
Anchoring the Light Seminars, Deyhana Lee Lim
You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay
Zero Limits, Joes Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, PhD
The Right Use of Will, Ceanne DeRohan
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